I Heard It on the Radio

Something uniquely Alaskan is on the radio.

"Trading Post Trapline Chatter" is aired nightly.

I have laughed at this since the first summer I stayed up here.

The short program consists of messages from people out of communication range.

The term "off the grid" is popular these days, meaning people without electricity.

The folks using the radio to pass messages are off the grid and then some!

What amuses me most is not just the homey, loving messages 

but the person who reads them on the air does so with a halting, choppy style.

Rather reminds me of a first grader learning to read by sounding out words laboriously.

There is NO inflection either, each message is read in monotone.

Since the list of messages are read and then repeated verbatim,

I wrote some typical messages down to share with you:

(For the full effect, try to read each one aloud with a pause between each word

and with a dull, flat voice...)

"To. Martha.
I. Arrived. OK.  

A. Bear. Had. Been. In. The. Cabin. But. I. Got. It. Cleaned. Up."

"From fish camp on the Yukon.

Trail is slimy.  Had to put the chains on.

Smoking salmon all day."

"I send my love and will send a letter on the next boat

coming down the river.  I hope Grandma is feeling better."

"The sheep is doing fine.

Happy birthday to Joe.

Oh, and I found my phone."

(Not that he can even USE the phone where he is!!!
If he did, he wouldn't be using Trapline Chatter.)